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VICTIMS OF CRIME

Domestic violence awareness topic of breakfast
By KIMBERLY STAUFFER
kstauffer@katycourier.com

An entire wall of women stand facing the room, silent and faceless.

Painted red and made of wood each has a gold name plate on their chest. Each is a silent witness to their own death at the hands of the man who claimed to love them.

Katy Christian Ministries' Domestic Abuse Center hosted Thursday their fifth Silent Witness Breakfast and Exhibit to honor victims of domestic violence and bring awareness of the issue to the community.

The Silent Witness program started in 1991 after more than 500 women joined in a silent march to the State Capitol Rotunda in Minnesota. Carrying single file 27 wooden figures, they represented domestic abuse victims.

Ann Bayliss, the center's director, said the DAC helped more than 1,000 people in 2004, around 150 of them men.

"They did not all come in with broken noses and black eyes," she said during a speech to the group. "On a daily basis, we find we can't believe what people do to their dog much less another person. It is never to her benefit to be controlled or victimized. And it is never to our benefit to ignore her. Our goal is to educate, legislate and infiltrate the mindset that blames the victims."

The Domestic Abuse Center is on call 24/7 and advocates will visit hospitals and police stations, though they cannot come to a victim's home due to safety reasons. Bayliss said the most dangerous part of escaping the cycle of violence is leaving. Statistics show 85 percent of women killed are in the process of leaving.

The center also gave the Brittany Whalen Rumsey Award to Terri Bieber for her program, Katy ArtReach and her work with domestic abuse victims.

Rumsey, along with her three siblings, was held hostage and threatened by her father after her parents argued in their Katy area home. Their mother, Joy, went for help, but after a lengthy standoff with police, her father shot his children and then himself. The only child to survive was baby Haylee, shielded by Brittany when their father opened fire.

"Every year three to 10 million children will witness violence, according to Texas Council on Family Violence," Bayliss said. Every year the center will have a table at the breakfast with three small silent witnesses, representing the Rumsey children killed by their father in 2001.

The speaker for the event was Paul Stine, a former batterer who completed a program with Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse, a private non-profit group dedicated to helping victims and abusers.

"I was one of those men who abused their wives," Stine said. "I'm not going to beat around the bush. I grew up in a house that was very abusive. It went on for most of my life, but that's not an excuse."

Stine speaks to the community as part of his lifelong recovery process. He supports educating children and teenagers, getting the word out before the process can begin.

"Growing up, I had no idea how to have a relationship with a woman," he said. "If we don't educate children, we won't stop this where it starts."

Stine mentioned a comment he hears often, you don't look like someone who should be here.

"It has no face. It's poor, middle class and in the rich. You cannot escape it," he said.

Each breakfast table had origami swans, representing each 150 victims of domestic violence in Texas in 2004. The swans were made by 14-year-old Jennifer Rahaim with the help of her family.